Stranger with VIP Expectations

When a stranger demands respect, attention, and a reply.

One day, I posted something on Instagram. Nothing special. Post it, then get on with life.

Then, out of nowhere, a comment popped up:

“You’re desperate for validation.”

I read it and thought, Oh wow, so some people can diagnose a person’s psychological needs from a single Instagram post. Impressive. Psychologists are officially slower than the comment section. 😂

But the story wasn’t over.

Then Came the DM

A while later, the same person slid into my DMs. Apparently, if I want to be respected, I should respect others too. Including replying to their messages.

I paused. Then I read the message again. Once. Twice.

Not because I was moved by the advice. I was just checking whether I had missed an important episode of our relationship.

Turns out, I hadn’t. We don’t know each other. We’ve never been friends. We have no special connection. And I honestly don’t remember ever signing up to be anyone’s personal customer service on Instagram.

So since when do strangers get VIP access to my time and my replies? 🤣

Respect Goes Both Ways

They said, if you want respect, respect others. Agreed.

But respecting someone doesn’t mean we’re obligated to reply to every message that lands in our inbox. Especially from someone we don’t even know.

Good manners matter. But respecting other people’s boundaries is part of good manners too.

I don’t show up in someone’s inbox demanding attention. And I don’t assume that someone who doesn’t reply to me is automatically disrespecting me.

Because I understand one simple thing: a message being sent doesn’t automatically activate an obligation to reply.

The Plot Twist

And the funniest part? The person who accused me of needing validation was the one sending messages, demanding a response from me.

What kind of plot twist is this? 😭🤣

I even started wondering if I’d logged into the wrong server. Is this Instagram, or a customer service center? Is there a queue number? Opening hours? If I don’t reply within 24 hours, will I get a warning letter?

Sorry. My system seems to be experiencing some technical difficulties.

ERROR 404: PERSONAL ACCESS NOT FOUND.
Please double-check your relationship with the account owner.
Relationship status: Strangers.
Access level: Public posts only.
Private reply service: Subject to availability.

Logging Out

And if you’re still wondering why I didn’t respond? The answer is simple.

We don’t know each other. I’m not obligated to always be available. And my life doesn’t stop just because someone is waiting for a DM reply.

Maybe I did log into the wrong server. But at least I know when to log out of a conversation that doesn’t need to happen.

Some people want your attention before they’ve earned your trust.

— Dea Wicaksana